Mentally exhausted from grandpa. (2024)

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Bluesky29224 Asked June 26, 2024

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Burnout Care Decisions Mental Health

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KNance72 Jun 26, 2024

This Is Typical behavior my Dad Did This. Not much You Can Do . You Have several dogs Also . People dont Care . I Suggest Finding a Therapist who can guide you after Grand pa passes because it is a big Transition .

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JoAnn29 Jun 26, 2024

How are you answering this person? The header does not show up on this page and there is no info about why this person is caring for Grandpa. To answer correctly we need more info. Age of grandpa and OP. Who lives with who. How is it getting too much and why is a grandchild caring for a grandparent.

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waytomisery Jun 26, 2024

It was there , a long story was written . Maybe OP erased it??
Young person in their early 30’s has been living with , taking care of , his/her ( not sure ? ) grandfather for over a decade since grandma died . Serious shadowing going on now that is upsetting . This caregiver has history of depression during this caregiving . Living in poverty , tries to do his/her own home business . The person’s family , parent , aunts and uncles ( children of the elderly man ) don’t even visit or anything . OP said they all fell apart since grandma died .

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waytomisery Jun 26, 2024

Call your local Area Agency of Aging . Check your county website to see if they can help placing Dad in a facility ( Medicaid if necessary ) . Get a social worker involved . Is anyone POA ?

You need your own life back and to move out even if you have to find a roommate(s) to share rent , and get another job .

You have done way too much . How can every person in one family fall apart for so long ??

They aren’t coming around because you are taking care of the problem . They don’t want to have to help , or watch grandpa decline. They have returned to normal life and stuck you in this situation , stunting your own early adult activities , relationships with people your own age , jobs etc .

You are correct to be upset that “ they didn’t come to help after a few months or even a year” . What a disgrace on your parent and aunts and uncles to leave you with this so long .

I think you should call them up and tell them you can not do this anymore and that you called the Agency of Aging and have a social worker getting involved .
And that you are moving out . Move out and don’t look back .

Take your life back . Grandpa could live longer than you think .

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waytomisery Jun 26, 2024

You can visit grandpa in a facility if you want .
As for the rest of these people , I would leave them behind .

I suggest seeing a therapist as well , for understanding that your life matters too , as you have already said you will find it difficult dealing once grandpa dies . You are already grieving , which is common while watching someone decline . Therapy can help with this . Ask the social worker if they can help you find that as well .

You are young , you can get through this and have a normal life .
Peace .

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faithfulbeauty Jun 26, 2024

@Blue,
Is there any way you can move?? This situation is not good for you. You need a life of your own. If you can not move, would your relatives be willing to step in and help if all of you sat down and had a family meeting?
I'm suggesting moving because after my mom died, I chose to stay in the town I grew up because of my father and it was a HUGE mistake. Now, I'm likely stuck here because I can not afford to relocate. There are ZERO opportunities here and it is depressing. If you can relocate or at least get a place of your own, please do so. If you can not, check into some home health assistance for your grandad. Some of the services provide respite so that caregivers can have time for themselves. Your life is not over. You can still have a life you love. Prayers to you!

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Anxietynacy Jun 26, 2024

Blue, I'm so sorry you are going through this. Many of us have been or will be going through very similar things.

Look up shadowing , it's a dementia term and look up Teepa Snow. My mom has this before she hurt her back. I had no clue it was a symptom of dementia.

I'm actually heading out to get moms meds, but wanted to let you know that stuff, I'll check in later see what others have said.

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